TOW the Bad Dancing
by writerchic16
Summary: [Song Fic] Chandler takes dancing lessons from his friends in order to prepare for his and Monica’s wedding. CM fluff


**TOW the Bad Dancing**

[Song Fic Chandler takes dancing lessons from his friends in order to prepare for his and Monica's wedding.

Song is _Do You Love Me_ by The Contours

* * *

_Okay, I can do this._

Rolling back his shoulders, Chandler did some stretches and let out a few deep breaths. Now was the only time. Monica was at work for at least another few hours. He was running out of time, though. He'd wasted enough of it trying to do this in his apartment, but after a few tries realized that he was in front of the big picture window, where Ross could see him at any moment. Then he'd been so freaked out by his own apartment that he'd sought solace in Joey's. Thankfully, Joey was at an audition for at least another hour.

_Stop procrastinating. Do it!_

With a dramatic flourish of his hand, he pressed the "play" button on the stereo/CD player, into which he had inserted a disc of "Favorite Party Hits." And wasn't going to wonder why he found a copy hidden in Ross' closet.

_You broke my heart_

'_Cause I wouldn't dance_

_You didn't even want me around_

Chandler snorted as he prepared himself for the fast beat of the song originally by _The Contours_. How he could sympathize. Monica didn't even pressure him to go to Gellar family weddings anymore.

_And now I'm back to let you know_

_I can really shake 'em down now…_

Chandler let out another breath. _This is it._

_DO YOU LOVE ME?_

"I _can _really move…" Chandler sang. The lyrics came out as more of a statement than song, something he repeated as the lead singer moved on to the rest of the chorus. "I can. Really. Move."

His arms were waving in the air, his hips shaking back and forth. Then…

_I can do the twist_

"I can…do the…." Chandler sputtered. He twisted a little too much, however. One leg crossed over the other, and he fell down with a _thud_, slumping against the bottom of the recliner.

Dejected, he glared at the stereo. "No I _can't_."

"Dude, what the hell are you doing?"

Embarrassment flooding his face, he looked up. The music still blaring, Joey, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe stood before him. Smiles ranged from amused to pitying.

"Well, answer me!" Joey demanded, while Rachel and Phoebe helped him to his feet.

Stumbling before Joey, Chandler suddenly felt as if whatever he said next would define his level of manliness in his best friend's eyes. "Um…what does it look like I'm doing?"

"Dancing to bad party music," Rachel supplied.

About to agree, Ross's eyes widened as he realized that it was his CD playing. "I-I don't think it's that bad. This is a classic!":

"Wait, so if you're a paleontologist, you have to like _all_ things ancient?" Rachel retorted.

Chuckling when Ross' face turned red, Phoebe turned to Chandler. "So, um, what are you actually doing?"

Chandler hesitated. He wanted nothing more than to bolt into his room and lock the door behind him, away from the prying of his friends. But…then he wouldn't be able to dance for the wedding. And more than anything, he didn't want to embarrass Monica on the dance floor…again. "Alright, I'll tell you. But promise you won't laugh."

"Of course not," Phoebe replied, with Ross nodding in agreement. Rachel and Joey, however, looked like they were trying not to laugh right then.

Still reluctant, Chandler mumbled, "Well, um, you know how the wedding's in a few weeks? See, this may come as a shock to you all, but I can't dance." He waited for the gasps, the exclamations of, "No, really?" But none came. The four of them just stared back with unsurprised expressions. _Thanks, guys_, Chandler thought, clearing his throat. "So, ah, I-I was trying to teach myself. Apparently I'm as bad a student as I am a teacher! Help me!"

"Okay then…" Joey said after a long moment. "Show us what you got." The others echoed with cries of "Yeah, do it!"

Steadying his nerves as best he could, Chandler rewound the song a bit to the first chorus.

_I can mash potato (I can mash potato)_

_I can do the twist (I can do the twist)_

_Now tell me baby (Tell me baby)_

_Do ya like it like this? (Do ya like it like this?)_

Trying as best he could, he repeated the moves earlier – shaking his hips, moving his arms up and down, and twisting his feet. He felt like an idiot, and was sure his moves were cringe-worthy.

"No, no no!" Ross exclaimed.

Covering her face, Phoebe cried, "My eyes, my eyes!"

"Chandler, for the love of God, stop it!" Rachel pleaded, stopping the music.

Joey wrinkled his brow in confusion. "What? I thought it was good."

"Try this," Phoebe said, playing the music again. She began to sway back and forth, her arms following the rhythm. The whole dance was more suitable for a slow song.

Ross raised an eyebrow. "Phoebe, you kidding me/"

"Why does everyone have to dance fast for a fast song?" Phoebe demanded. "People should be able to dance at whatever speed they like!"

"Phoebe, the whole point is that he _doesn't_ want to embarrass Monica," Rachel retorted.

Chandler bit his lip. He was the last one to be making fun of anyone else's dancing. But it was taking all his strength not to say anything. "Uh, thanks Pheebs. Anyone else?"

"Oh, oh! How about this?" Joey asked. Keeping his feet in place, he moved his body around in a circular motion, his arms outstretched.

Rolling her eyes, Rachel put a hand on Joey's arm, causing him to stand still. "Joey, you and Phoebe sit on the couch. I'll show you how it's done."

"Right, like _you_ can dance," Ross scoffed.

"Yes, and you're going to be my partner," Rachel said, grabbing Ross' arms and turning him to face her. She began to move and shake to the music, her body in perfect rhythm in the music. Ross held out his hand, and she took it as she did a little turn. "See Chandler?" she said, still dancing with Ross, who was slowly getting into the beat. "Just go with it.. _Smooth_. Do what comes naturally…well, maybe not for you…"

"I get it," Chandler snapped. Following Rachel's lead, he started moving the same way, shaking his body to the music.

Rachel gave him an encouraging smile. "Now you're getting it!"

"I still think what he had was fine," Joey admitted.

About to retort, Chandler froze along with the others as they heard a jingling of keys from across the hall. Then Monica's voice called out, "Chandler? You home?"

"Hide!" Chandler exclaimed, diving for the stereo. Joey, however, leaped for the stereo at the same time and landed on top of him. And that was the position Monica found them in when she walked into the apartment.

Monica raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk playing at her lips. "Chandler, if you announce that you're gay _this close_ to the wedding, I _will_ sue for emotional distress."

"If I was gay, I think I could do better than Joey," Chandler said, pushing Joey off of him.

Stumbling backwards, Joey exclaimed, "Hey! You'd be very lucky to have me!"

"Whatever," Monica laughed, saying hello to the others and kissing Chandler. "I'll be in my apartment. You all coming?" When they all made some indication they were, she left the apartment.

Letting out a deep breath, Chandler remarked, "Well, that was unpleasantly close."

* * *

"Come on!" Chandler exclaimed, pulling Monica towards the staircase to the building roof. It was a few days after the wedding, and an equal amount of time before their honeymoon. The ceremony had gone perfectly, but the dancing…_Darn slippery shoes_. 

Resisting only a little, Monica protested, "Chandler, we don't have time for this! There's so much packing to do…"

"That can wait. This can't," Chandler insisted, covering her eyes with one hand while he pushed the roof door open with another. "Look, we've been rushing around since the wedding. Packing, filling out the thank-you notes, going through the presents…"

"_We_?"

"Okay, you," Chandler said, guiding Monica towards the middle of the roof. "But that's why we need this. _You_ need to relax. And…it's something that's been on my mind."

"What has?"

Chandler removed his hand from her eyes. "This."

Monica stared at the scene in confusion. All she could see was a large CD player with speakers set up on a metal table. "What?"

"Well, you remember at the wedding, I said I'd taken dance lessons so that I wouldn't embarrass you…and then nearly slipped?"

"_Nearly_?"

Chuckling, Chandler said, "Okay, I slipped a lot. But I never got to show you what I learned. So rather than wait months for the next big occasion…I thought this would be nice."

"Aw, sweetie," Monica gushed, kissing him on his lips. "This is sweet, really, but I don't know if we have time…"

Chandler smiled, holding up the CD player remote. "Just answer one question. Do you love me?"

"Of course I do," Monica said, going to stand next to him.

Shaking his head, Chandler pointed the remote at the CD player and pressed the play button. "No, I mean…."

_DO YOU LOVE ME?_

"…now, that I, can dance," Chandler sang, showing off his moves to an hysterically laughing Monica. Concerned that was still embarrassing her, he stopped. "What? You don't like it?"

"I _love_ it," Monica assured him, copying his moves to prove her point. She danced up to him and kissed his lips. "And I love you."

Chandler kissed her back, then displayed some more of his moves. "Of course. Now that I can dance."


End file.
